I remember the times when I was still in my twenties, when I was so looking forward to seeing the people I thought were close to me, to actually choose to spend time with me. Even as a teen, coming from a place where connections were everything, I thought that the approval of others was something to seek in my life. Oh, how wrong I was back then, and how thankful I am that I realised my mistake. Well, it was rather later than sooner, but better late than never, right?

Looking back at those years now that I’m over 30, it’s like I’m watching myself holding back from all the things I wanted to do. Seeing how dependent I was on other people’s desires and opinions of me makes me feel sad about the version of myself I was back then.

That, of course, changed with time and experience and we are ending at that very moment when I faced with the decision to stay home and not do anything, or book that six-day stay in Budapest and spend time with my dearest friend Lilly. I am a very spontaneous person and it doesn’t take much for me to decide to do something or go somewhere, but the idea of travelling alone always held me back – go somewhere with friends or with Lilly’s family – sure; but go alone – Eh, no, better wait for somebody else to come with me. Until 2024…

Do you know what it takes for a person to realise that if they don’t take life in their own hands, they are going nowhere – figuratively and literally? I remember it again as that moment which felt like a lightning strike – would the people I had prioritised before myself do the same for me? And the answer was pretty clear. Yes, painful, but clear. This was the moment I was released from my misery and started living life the way I wanted it – having my freedom and making decisions, which led me to spend the best 2 years of my life that, honestly, wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t had that moment of realisation. Realising that you should never wait for people to prioritise you and your needs when they haven’t done it before. A hard pill to swallow, but a very necessary one.

Have you been there yet?